"Your life has become totally different"

Mr. Stupar describes how his life has changed as a result of the haemorrhage. He describes himself as a hyperactive person who suddenly finds himself in a wheelchair and has to slowly learn to deal with the challenges of everyday life again. He experienced setbacks again and again.

I wonder if it has something to do with the shower?

Mr. Stupar knows that an aneurysm is congenital, but he still wondered if the rupture was caused by showering.

"She [my wife] practically resuscitated me"

Mr. Stupar passed out in the shower on the last day of his holiday. His wife was immediately there and called the emergency services. When he regained consciousness, he could no longer see properly. He thought he was having a heart attack.

Mr. Stupar lost over 16 kilos

Due to various complications and side effects, Mr. Stupar lost 17 kilos. He did not feel much of the spasms in the vessels in his head (vasospasm). An inflammation of the salivary gland caused him even more trouble. The side effects of the antibiotic led to severe diarrhoea.

"Death is just right there"

Mr. Stupar describes death as a cold feeling in his head. He felt first-hand how quickly life can end.

Mr. Stupar was on the verge of "losing his mental stability"

The diagnosis and the strong medication have pushed Mr. Stupar to his mental limits.

Mr. Stupar's passenger transport licence was withdrawn

Mr. Stupar is allowed to drive again, but his additional licence has not been renewed. This official action shows him how much the disease affects his future.

Mr. Stupar continues to build up his workload

Mr. Stupar works as a geriatric nurse. During the occupational integration measures, his daily work was made more difficult by the Corona pandemic and an infection of his own. At the time of the interview, Mr. Stupar was working 50% of the time in his old job, hoping to return to his previous workload in the following months.

Suddenly his wife had the "main role in the family"

Mr. Stupar sees how his wife sacrificed herself for the family. She not only stood by him, but took over the complete care of the children and the finances.

Mr. Stupar spends a lot of time with his children

His children were present when Mr. Stupar was resuscitated. There were many tears. As Mr. Stupar was not working full time at the time of the interview, he was at home a lot taking care of his children.

Mr. Stupar pays more attention to himself and his family

Mr. Stupar has learnt to appreciate life through his near-death experience. In return, he takes better care of himself and spends more time with people who are important to him.

"Head up and keep going"

Mr. Stupar sees that he has been given a second chance for his life. He became aware of how quickly one is thrown off track. Now he makes plans for the future and leads a healthy lifestyle.

When the bed is equal parts dining and bathroom - dependency permanent

Mr. Stupar describes the interaction between the absolute state of emergency and the presence of the medical staff. The dependency becomes very clear; even though his explanation is very positive.

In rehab, Mr. Stupar was suddenly on his own

While in intensive care you are under full surveillance and staff are always present, the peace and quiet of a single room in a rehabilitation clinic can be very oppressive, especially if you have survived a life-threatening event. Mr. Stupar describes the fears that suddenly took over.

Mr. Stupar suffers under pressure from insurance companies

Mr. Stupar not only had to recover physically after the diagnosis, but also psychologically. Due to the strong painkillers, his performance was also limited. Mr. Stupar criticises that support services pay too little attention to these multi-layered limitations, which lead to fatigue, poor concentration and exhaustion. He suspects that support would be better if he had visible limitations.

Mr. Stupar became infected with Corona during the recovery period

Mr. Stupar describes being even more exhausted after the corona infection than after the rehabilitation of his brain haemorrhage.

The good prognosis has given Mr. Stupar strength again

Mr. Stupar was relieved when the neurosurgeon told him, based on the computed tomography (CT) images, that he would have no restrictions. After one and a half years, he is not yet fully integrated professionally, but is very hopeful that he will soon be able to return to full work. This shows that communication by the medical service has a direct impact on how people deal with their illness.

Mr. Stupar sees how easy it is to get off track

Mr. Stupar sees the recovery process as an inner struggle that he can win. In doing so, he draws a parallel with the war he survived. This previous experience has influenced the recovery from the brain haemorrhage.

The shape of the face has changed

Mr. Stupar has not only lost 17 kilos, but also has a "dent" on his face that bothers him. He softens this negative statement by laughing and welcoming it.

Mr. Stupar notices that his environment perceives him differently

Mr. Stupar feels observed and stigmatised by his environment. He himself does not feel any change due to the disease. However, he describes that he sets priorities in life differently because of the near-death experience. He has learned to appreciate his life and enjoy every day. He adapts restrictions imposed by the illness ("I can't anymore") into active action ("I don't share anymore"). The transitions between possible restrictions and effects of the near-death experience appear fluid here.

"No matter what. But it helps"

Mr. Stupar defines yoga, meditation, praying and reading as spirituality. On this path, he has learned to look gratefully at his life and focuses on positive aspects of everyday life.

"I don't always want to be the colleague with the brain haemorrhage".

Sometimes Mr. Stupar withdraws from his work because working with people with dementia is very demanding. It bothers him when colleagues ask him if he has problems concentrating. He wishes for his professional environment to be less judged (condemned).