"Something has burst"

Ms. Novak felt a burst in her head while working and called her colleagues for help. Within a very short time, she lost control of her body.

Ms. Novak did not dare to shower alone

Ms. Novak was afraid for a very long time that something would happen to her body again. She only dared to take a shower if there was someone nearby who could help in an emergency.

"Then I went for the nurse".

Ms. Novak reports hallucinations during the intensive care stay. She saw things that were not there. This made her very angry with the staff.

"And what if you don't open your eyes anymore?"

Ms. Novak could only scream in agony. She was always afraid to close her eyes, as she did not know if she would ever wake up again.

Fear dominates her everyday life

Ms. Novak lives with the daily fear of another brain haemorrhage. Despite the resulting sleep disorders, she has managed to find strength by socialising with other people and establishing new rituals in her everyday life.

Before the brain haemorrhage, driving was her favourite activity

For a long time, Ms. Novak did not dare to get behind the wheel. She had to regain her confidence after the haemorrhage. At the time of the interview, she was driving again, but she talks about the fears that accompany her when she does so.

Ms. Novak lost her job because of her medical history

Ms. Novak worked for the same employer for 23 years. Due to the brain haemorrhage and related rehabilitation, she was absent for several months. After the expiry of the protection against dismissal, the employer terminated the employment relationship. Ms. Novak is disappointed that she did not get a chance to reintegrate professionally. She quickly found a new job.

Ms. Novak is glad that nobody at work knows about her medical history

Ms. Novak concealed her medical history at her new workplace. She is grateful that she has a few hours in the day when she is not spoken to about her health.

Mother and daughter suffered a ruptured (burst) aneurysm within five weeks of each other

When Ms. Novak was at the rehabilitation clinic, she found out that her mother had been taken to hospital with the same diagnosis. She wants her daughter to also be examined for an aneurysm.

True friends revealed themselves through the illness

Ms. Novak was abandoned by friends due to her illness. She also had surprisingly positive experiences, because people were there for her where she would never have believed it before.

Ms. Novak was wired everywhere

Ms. Novak reports how she was woken up by the constant alarms.

Ms. Novak had mental training

At the rehabilitation clinic, Ms. Novak trained her attention and concentration skills. She also rebuilt her muscles there.

Ms. Frey found the rehabilitation unnecessary

Ms. Frey had a lot of discussions with the treating medical team because she refused to be transferred to the rehabilitation clinic. She preferred to rehabilitate at home with private resources.

Ms. Novak just screamed

After she collapsed screaming, she realised that someone had made the emergency call.

"Damage is likely to remain"

When her mother was admitted with the brain haemorrhage, the doctors told her that she was likely to have permanent mobility impairments.

Ms. Novak wanted to live

Ms. Novak fought an inner battle of survival and tried to stay conscious. She cannot remember any conversations about her patient's wishes.

Uncertainties after the operation

It is common for surgeons to talk to their patients after the operation about the course of the procedure. The interview excerpt shows that Ms. Novak needed several days to understand the reason for the intensive care stay. The statement about the examinations also shows a lot of uncertainty, which points to a limited ability to remember and think.

"You have had a guardian angel"

Ms. Novak's disease has made her realise how much she loves life. She considers herself very lucky that her illness has progressed as it has.

The evaluation of one's own state of health is done by comparison with other patients

Ms. Novak takes her mother as a role model to fight for her health. Her mother suffered from a brain haemorrhage around the same time. In comparison with other patients, she values the course of her illness.

She became aware every day of how her life was changing

Ms. Novak suffered from anxiety, sleep disorders, diarrhoea, hair loss and a full moon face. She lost confidence in her body.

She used to devour books

Ms. Novak describes a change in her life. She used to be a bookworm and now can't stand books any more. Since she is cognitively able to read books, she does not understand the cause. In the same paragraph, she describes that she has become more sensitive since the disease. This paragraph is followed by a long silence. Even when asked, she is unable to put this feeling into words.