After her mother was sedated in the nursing home, which was damaging, Mrs. Zeller felt clear that no treatment should occur without her consent as the daughter.

After her mother was sedated in the nursing home, which was damaging because it decreased her mother’s quality of life and longevity, Mrs. Zeller felt clear that no treatment should occur without her consent as the daughter.

Early on, Mrs. Zeller and her mother talked about not being cared for at home because it would be too much for Mrs. Zeller.

Early on, Mrs. Zeller and her mother talked about not being cared for at home because it would be too much for Mrs. Zeller.

Mrs. Zeller attended a course in Validation to learn ways to deal with her mother, who suffers from dementia.

Mrs. Zeller attended a course in Validation to learn ways to deal with her mother, who suffers from dementia. The method, essentially, it to focus on responding to what the person says rather than contradicting them.

Mrs. Zeller looks at her mother's non-verbal signs (facial expressions) and emotions to determine how her mother is feeling.

Mrs. Zeller looks at her mother's non-verbal signs (facial expressions) and emotions to determine how her mother is feeling. She also relies on intuition.

Mrs. Zeller recommends actively acquiring knowledge about how best to deal with dementia patients and to exchange ideas with other relatives.

Mrs. Zeller recommends actively acquiring knowledge in dealing with dementia patients and exchanging ideas with other relatives.

Treating her mother with respect means still perceiving in her the person she used to be, says Mrs. Zeller.

According to Mrs. Zeller, treating her mother with respect means still perceiving in her the person she used to be. Even with advanced dementia, she recognizes characteristics of her mother.

Mrs. Zeller worries about prevention, but remains without an answer.

Mrs. Zeller worries about prevention and what she could do to prevent dementia in herself. However, she remains without an answer.

Dementia appears to Mrs. Zeller as an escape from an accelerated, overly-complex world.

Dementia appears to Mrs. Zeller as an escape from an accelerated, overly-complex world.

Mrs. Zeller has decided not to put a GPS on her mother.

Mrs. Zeller has decided not to put a GPS on her mother. She had to balance her mother's freedom of movement with her responsibilities as a caregiver. Her mother's preference to be physically active was ultimately the deciding factor.

Having to decide for the other person has a high potential for frustration, notes Mrs. Zeller.

Having to make decisions for the other person has a high potential for frustration, Mrs. Zeller notes. She has to guard her mother so that nothing happens to her, or she does not make mistakes such as losing money. Mrs. Zeller is reluctant and finds it difficult to dispose of her mother. However, this conflict has eased over time.

Her siblings accept the role of Mrs. Zeller as the one mainly responsible for their mother.

Her siblings accept the role of Mrs. Zeller as the one mainly responsible for their mother. The siblings communicate with each other in a group chat to all stay informed.

Should Mrs. Zeller develop dementia and need care, she will move into a nursing home.

Mrs. Zeller, who cares for her mother, who suffers from dementia, takes the decision away from her own children. Should she develop dementia and need care, she will move into a nursing home. The only thing that matters to her is that her children ensure that she is well cared for in the nursing home.

Mrs. Zeller filled out an advance directive with her mother when she moved to the nursing home.

Mrs. Zeller filled out a living will with her mother when she transitioned to the nursing home. Mrs. Zeller had always been her mother's primary contact person in the family, which is why she became her proxy.

High quality treatment requires that physicians and nurses would not be the only ones to decide on the medications used and a medical treatment, Mrs. Zeller says.

Mrs. Zeller thinks it is important for relatives to participate in medical decision-making. She feels that high quality treatment requires doctors and nurses to take input rather than decide on their own what medications and medical treatment would be best.

Mrs. Zeller had to intervene repeatedly at the nursing home to ensure that her mother received pureed food.

Mrs. Zeller had to intervene repeatedly in the nursing home to ensure that her mother received pureed food, which is necessary since her mother can no longer chew well. Mrs. Zeller wants to encourage relatives to actively advocate for their loved ones who are vulnerable when institutionalized.

In order to roughly assess the quality of care, Mrs. Zeller put nursing and hotel costs of the homes in perspective.

When transferring her mother to a dementia-friendly nursing home, Mrs. Zeller searched and waited for a long time. In order to be able to roughly estimate the quality of care, she put the nursing and hotel costs of the homes into a ratio.

For Mrs. Zeller, a dementia-friendly nursing home means specialized care, sufficient nursing staff and accessible outdoor facilities.

For Mrs. Zeller, a dementia-friendly nursing home means specialized care, sufficient nursing staff and accessible outdoor facilities.

It is difficult to experience her mother's change from an independent woman to a helpless person, says Mrs. Zeller.

It is emotionally difficult for Mrs. Zeller to observe the change in her mother from an independent woman who managed life well to a helpless person.

The fact that Mrs. Zeller's mother enrolled herself in a nursing home to relieve the burden on her children was a great help to Mrs. Zeller and her siblings.

The fact that Mrs. Zeller's mother enrolled herself in a nursing home to relieve the burden on her children was a great help to Mrs. Zeller and her siblings. Mrs. Zeller suggested to her mother at an early age to deal with the possible case of needing care in order to be able to make decisions.